I've worked with over 1000 kids - if you want your trust you, do this

Parents want their children to trust them. They want to be the first person for kids, turn with big things, hard things and exciting things. They want their children to feel safe enough to ask questions and share emotions.

But none of this happens automatically, and trust is not because simply saying, “You can talk to me.”

Instead, you go first. Open and honest. Show them how to deal with uncomfortable emotions and difficult situations. Modeling.

It sounds simple, but parents don’t always know how to put it into practice. You can do six things a day to build trust with your children:

1. Normalize talk about feelings

As a dual-certified child professional and therapist, I support my family through some of the most difficult conversations I imagined, including illness, hospitalization, trauma and loss. I learned that these moments are easier when children are exposed to open communication every day, not only when life becomes hard.

When children see adults naming and sharing their feelings, they learn that the same thing can be done. It also makes them quiet and unwritten allowed to open.

It sounds like: "I'm a little worried that we'll be late for school and work. Let's work together."

It's about modeling. When we name emotions aloud (good and evil), we tell children that feelings are not to be hidden.

2. Don't avoid hard

When kids watch adults avoid certain topics, they quickly learn about the content of “restrictions” and may be more worried about them.

This may skip the fact that a bug has died or is hiding from someone using a wheelchair. But these are all missed opportunities. When we avoid uncomfortable or strangers, we tell our kids about those conversations that do not belong to our home.

Instead, to create a space that welcomes all questions, curiosity is filled with peace, and honesty is part of everyday life.

Try using these phrases to have tough conversations with your child.

3. Be honest with your own challenges

For many parents, emotional openness is not natural. Maybe you haven’t grown up in a home where people freely show or share their feelings. It doesn't matter.

You can still give your kids something different. You can even start sharing open-minded things: “I didn’t grow up talking about how I feel, but I want to do it with you – because I know it’s important and helpful.”

The level of honesty builds the connection. It shows your child that emotional openness is not perfect, but about being and willing.

4. Model, don't question it

We all ask, “How are your days?” and get the answer to a shrug or a word.

Try flipping. Rather than asking your kids to open first, share your day: “Today was a roller coaster. I was excited about the morning, but then I didn’t think of anything and I was frustrated. I took a walk. By the end of the day, I felt much better.

This model reflects and emotional awareness and teaches children how to do the same.

5. Make a part of a real conversation

An easy but powerful way to keep communication flowing is to build it into a family routine.

In my home, we want to be "high and low" dinner. Everyone will share a highlight from their day, which is hard and there is another positive moment.

Even my youngest child (only two years old) asked for it every night. It has become a rhythm that creates space for joy and struggle, weaving every day.

6. Teach money strategies

When you talk about feelings, you will also open the door to coping skills that can help you with them.

For example, after naming your frustration loudly, you might follow it: “When I feel this, I try to take a deep breath to help my body calm down.”

You can even practice some calm breathing together before going to bed. This is a simple, powerful way to show that regulating emotions is normal and feasible.

Trust is built in a small part

The kids are always watching. Not only do they hear what you say- they will notice how you say it, what you say it and what you avoid.

If you want your kids to trust your big stuff, show them the little stuff they can trust you. It is important to verify their feelings and show them their thoughts. honest. Make your mood normal. And create space for real conversations - even if they are messy or difficult.

When you go first, your child can see how it is done and follow your leadership.

Kelsey Mora Are certified child life specialists and licensed clinical professional consultants who provide customized support, guidance and resources to parents, families and communities affected by medical conditions, trauma, grief and stress in everyday life. She is the private practice owner, the mother of two, the creator and author Method WorkbookChief Clinical Officer of Nonprofit Organizations Kimchi group.

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Parenting Expert: The first thing every parent should teach their children