The buddy system helps you stick to your goals. cienpies/Getty Images hide title
Over the past year, NPR graphic correspondent Daniel Wood, a busy father of three, says he's been able to maintain "a workout pace that I've never had before."
What's his secret to maintaining a good exercise routine? He has an accountability group.
Wood and several dads in his Cheverly, Md., neighborhood get up before their morning parenting duties, drink coffee and lift weights in their dad's garage.
“Through a combination of good encouragement and friendly competition, we hold each other accountable,” Wood said.
An accountability partner or group can be a powerful and effective way to help you complete tasks and achieve your goals, says Ayelet FishbachProfessor of Behavioral Science and Marketing at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business.
Fishbach says we are social animals. "We know people work as a team. People have worked as a team from the beginning."
Research shows that people achieve more when they work in partnership. A 2015 study Posted in Journal of the American Medical Association Internal Medicine Studies have found that partners are more likely to make healthy behavioral changes, such as exercising more or smoking less, if they also make healthy changes.
So if you're having trouble checking boxes on your to-do list or achieving goals, you might benefit from an accountability partner or group. Here's what to know.
Before you start looking for a partner, think about the project you need help with. Maybe you want to get a new job or start a business or learn how to draw, maybe you want to cook more or do the exercises your physical therapist gives you.
Your partner should also have goals. The relationship should be mutually beneficial. Here are a few ways you can collaborate.
Working towards a common goal: Leah Shaffer lives outside of Houston and works with an accountability partner to focus on her creative writing goals.
She and her best friend, also a writer with her own writing goals, have been meeting on Zoom every Friday for more than a year.
She may have written a draft of a vampire novel before she met her friend. But this year, she rewrote it three times and wrote two books, she said. “I don’t think I could have done this without my partner.”
Develop healthy habits: Francisco Ramirez, who lives in New York, joins forces with an accountability partner to handle daily tasks: taking walks, cooking healthy meals and waking up on time.
He and his partner meet online every Sunday at 10 a.m. They tell each other about their achievements, review the challenges they face, and encourage and support each other.
This person should share a desire to achieve your goals and be willing to "check in with you and track your progress," Fishbach says.
They should also be able to meet on a consistent basis. “The most helpful friends are the ones who show up,” Ramirez said.
Don’t know where to find a good partner? Here are a few places worth seeing.
Your social networks: Wood connected with his fitness group when someone came to a holiday party. If you already have a friend who you think would be a good fit, ask them.
Your community: Your partner doesn't have to be someone you already know. Ask around to see if there are any existing groups that match your interests. "In a sense, a book club is an accountability group" because it helps you keep reading, says Cynthia Pang, Founder and CEO of career coaching company Embrace Change.
Apps and online platforms: Ramirez uses focus mate Continue with the mission. The site matches you with a stranger to collaborate via video for 25, 50 or 75 minutes.
He attended more than 6,000 such meetings, "everything from canceling contracts, looking through invoices, writing books, learning French, writing thank-you notes," he said.
workout app Strava can help you stick to your exercise goals by allowing you to share your workout stats with your followers on the platform. Maybe seeing your sister post and complete a long bike ride will help inspire you to get out there and run that run you have planned.
“There’s really no one recipe that works for everyone,” Fishbach said. It's up to you and your partner to decide how often you meet, where you meet, and what you discuss.
Ramirez and his partners updated a spreadsheet to track their progress. It includes questions like: "How am I doing? What's working? What's not working?"
In addition to weekly goals, Schaefer and her partners set monthly, quarterly and annual goals.
If you don't achieve all your goals, cut yourself some slack. But if you're not seeing any progress, or you and your partner keep canceling accountability gatherings, Pong says it's time to get checked in.
Maybe your friend will say, "You know, I'm actually not as passionate about this as I thought I was. Let's try again in six months." Or maybe your Zoom meeting time isn't convenient for either of you. .
Whatever the reason, see how you can adjust your partnership. Maybe you check in via text message. Or you could change the meeting time, Pong said.
Keep hanging out with your friends or groups, and you may find an unexpected dynamic: friendship.
Ultimately, Wood said, the social aspect is what drives him to show up and work out at 5:45 a.m.
Not only does he have a more consistent workout routine, he said, but he also has a new group of best friends.
Digital Stories edited by Malaka Gharib. Visual editor is Beck Harlan. We'd love to hear from you. Please leave us a message at 202-216-9823 or email LifeKit@npr.org.
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