How to find a supportive queer community in your area: NPR

Kitty Horblit (left), Karli Manship (Center) and Hannah Bruns (right) in Brooklyn, NY (Brooklyn

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Quick Note: For those who belong outside of Cisgender or heterosexual identity, this work uses the word “Queer” as an inclusive term. While “queer” can use many applications outside of gender or sexual behavior, this article mainly uses it for these categories.

Jolie Elins, 25, can find out the exact moment she found the queer community: in a name Stud Country In Los Angeles a few years ago.

In the ocean of cowboy boots and fishing nets, Ellins says they love The feeling of trampling with other “thinking to do this weird, niche weird guy”.

“This is a very clear new chapter in my life, and I can explore the weirdness around people like me,” they said. Ellins, who lives in New York City, now dances with her friends many times a week.

Whether it’s on a dance night, a kick league, a book club or a bar, being part of a queer community is certain, especially for those who enter a new gender identity or gender Elsa Lauis a clinical psychologist who provides support groups for queer professionals.

“When you're in a space where someone is actively cheering for themselves because they see a part of themselves, it makes these things feel more real inside you,” Law said.

Dance at Stud Country in Brooklyn, NY on March 25, 2025.

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This may also support those struggling with queer identities, Law added.

If you’re curious about joining a space that makes you feel at home in a queer feel, queer organizers share suggestions.

It's OK to have impostor syndrome

If you’re just starting to explore your queer identity, joining a queer network or entering a queer space can be daunting. cuteis a Los Angeles-based organization that creates activities for people of color.

“The hardest part is negative self-talk, impostor syndrome,” Jones said. 'I don't know if I'm cool enough.' Newcomers can hang out where to go, what clothes to wear and how to act in these places.

But this fear is “social hinders us from living in truth,” Jones said. So give yourself some grace. “There is no right or wrong way.”

Shrink what you're looking for…

Liu said, just because the community members have the same queer identity as you. “They may have some common experience, but they may have different careers, are at different stages of life or have very different values.”

You might want to be with those who have the same Race or racial identity, disability, neurotype or shared values. Or, you might want to spend time with someone who shares the same hobbies and interests, such as cooking, Mahjong, or rock climbing.

So, Jones said, “Search for what you’re looking for.” It might be as simple as finding “black queer” or “sports.” “Transgender people in your area” activity. She recommends using Reddit, Instagram or other social media platforms as databases.

…or try something new

Top: Left Start: Karli Manship, Hannah Bruns, Jolie Elins and Kenya Jacobs Line Dance in Stud Country, Brooklyn, NY, March 25, 2025. Lower left: Training rural participants to practice the collaborative dance steps, which have just been taught in a class. Bottom right: People dance under the disco lights of the gin country.

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At the same time, a wide net was thrown. Your strongest connection may end up with things you never thought about, like queer bowling or queer magazine nights. Follow your curiosity, Jones says.

Stud Country co-founder Sean Monaghan often sees this dynamic on his dance nights. “There are many examples of people having zero dance experience and two left foot. Now, they are the best dancers at the party.”

Ask a queer friend to join you

Monaghan said if you’re nervous about attending a queer event for the first time, don’t be afraid to ask for some companies. “Ask someone to go to a gay bar with you.”

Remember, “No one knows you walk into a space,” Jones said. “They don't know you came out yesterday.”

Create your own space

If you've participated in some different queer events, no It feels like your atmosphere, it doesn't matter. “Create the space you want to see,” Maya Satya Reddy said Queer Asian Social Club.

When Reddy graduated from university, she struggled to find her fellow Asian queer people. She wanted a space separate from other mainstream queer spaces, which could be a special space for most white, sisgender or for gay people.

So she began to engage with other queer organizers in San Diego, California where she lives. Soon, her own organization stepped down. As a result, Reddy said: “I no longer feel invisible.”

If you have itching to start your own space,” Reddy said. “Cold email person. Cold direct source. Not necessarily perfect. ”

Believe in the process

Don't be discouraged if you can't find the right queer network for your area. Remember that the community can take many forms Dheivana Moorthy said, Blue Cooperation Bookstore. Link with gay people on social media or online forums. Or read books or poems by queer authors to feel a sense of connection.

No matter where you look for people, you know you will eventually find them. “Neither queer nor trans people go anywhere,” Morsi said. “We’ve been here all the time.”

Digital stories are edited by Malaka Gharib. The visual editor is Beck Harlan. We would love to hear from you. Please call us at 202-216-9823 to provide us with voicemail, or email us at [email protected].

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